prisonist.org
Event: Jeff Grant to Speak at the Delaware Trust Conference, Wilmington, DE, Oct. 19, 2021
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Please join us on Oct. 19, 2021, 12:45 pm, for Jeff’s plenary ethics presentation, “Pleasing Everybody Pleases Nobody,” at the 16th Annual Delaware Trust Conference, sponsored by The Delaware Bankers Association and The Delaware Financial Education Alliance.
Pleasing Everybody Pleases Nobody – We are often faced with pressure to bend the rules to make customers, clients and colleagues happy… sometimes to disastrous results.
Chase Center on the Riverfront, 815 Justison Street, Wilmington, Delaware 19801
For information and registration: https://www.debankers.com/DE_trust_conf_21.html
More information to come.
Jeffrey D. Grant, Esq.
A purpose-driven attorney
Jeff Grant is on a mission. After a hiatus from practicing law, he is once again in private practice in New York and is committed to using his legal expertise and life experience to benefit others.
Jeff provides a broad range of legal services in a highly attentive, personalized manner. They include private general counsel, white collar crisis management to individuals and families, services to family-owned and closely-held businesses, plus support to special situation and pro bono clients.
For more than 20 years, Jeff served as managing attorney of a 20+ employee law firm headquartered in New York City and then Westchester County, New York. The firm’s practice areas included representing family-owned and closely-held businesses and their owners, business and real estate transactions, trusts and estates, and litigation.
Jeff also served as outside general counsel to large family-owned real estate equities and management and brokerage organizations. In this role, he retained, coordinated, and oversaw the work of many specialty law firms, including white collar defense firms.
After an addiction to prescription opioids and serving almost 14 months in Federal prison (2006 – 07) for a white collar crime he committed while an attorney, Jeff started his own reentry. He earned a Master of Divinity from Union Theological Seminary in the City of New York, majoring in Social Ethics. After graduating, Jeff was called to serve at an inner city church in Bridgeport, CT as Associate Minister and Director of Prison Ministries. He then co-founded Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc. (Greenwich, CT), the world’s first ministry devoted to serving the white collar justice community.
Link to Jeff’s full bio…
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White Collar Support Group Blog: A White Collar Prisoner on Diesel Therapy, by Anonymous
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The author is a member of our White Collar Support Group that meets online on Monday evenings. He was sentenced to four years imprisonment for a white collar crime, but was released for six months pending his appeal. When he lost his appeal, he was ordered to surrender to the U.S. Marshals whereupon he was immediately put on “diesel therapy”. That is, he has been shuttled around from prison to prison on buses and planes for over six months, and still has not arrived at his designated facility.
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Just dropping a note to all and letting you know that I’m “In Transit” at a transfer station in XXXX. Been here a about two weeks and not sure when I’ll be moving on but I do know that I’ll be heading back to my last destination prior to my release pending the Appeal (which I obviously lost). It was nice to be back home for six months starting last July. Got a lot taken care of at home and actually starting some consulting work in my industry – good sign. I hope that door will still be open when I get out again.
What follows are from my notes I’ve put together while living in my “room” here in XXXX. Also, this “email” service is very primitive with almost no editing capability, unable to cut-and-paste, etc. so, many thoughts I’ve listed here may seem disjointed and non-sensicle (all, my excuse for sounding so illiterate as I sometimes do!). I’m also going to let everything hang out here. So, I hope what I’ve got to say doesn’t make anyone too uncomfortable. I don’t want sympathy, really, I don’t want that. I just want it to be known, these things we’ve endured. And then think of how much of this is really necessary and how much may be truelly damaging and unecessary. Just know that I’m ok and I have survived.
To bring some of you up to speed as to what’s happened since I left FCI XXXX at the end of June 2020:
My attorneys getting me released “Pending my sentencing appeal” which we had now been waiting almost two year to be heard. The first few months home I spent re-adjusting and looking for work. I started to play with Day and Swing Trading on line and got familiar with Ameritrades “Think-or-Swim” trading program and became pretty AmeriTrade’s with it, even made a few bucks. Then got a call from a friend who runs a plant in XXXX. He said they needed someone to help with the regulatory side of things and were hoping I would come on board as an independent consultant for this. This was more or less a full time consulting position, really a perfect setup for to get reconnected with the industry – good pay as well – a very fortunate opportunity. I explained that I was still waiting for my appeal to be heard and was expecting a favorable outcome. They understood and still accepted me onboard starting sometime in September. Things were going very well, even spotted incorrect filters installed which saved them from a potentially very embarrassing situation during an FDA audit. Overall I proved a good asset for them. Then I learned we lost the appeal early in December and I’d be heading back to prison to finish my sentence, devastating.
Just prior to getting this devastating verdict, I had offered our local high school another “Astronomy Night” with my telescope for the science students to observe the upcoming conjunction of Saturn and Mars with the Moon, a rar event perfectly positioned for viewing this December night. All the students were come to our home where we were setup for this viewing. That Day we received the verdict of the lost appeal so needless to say i was devastated and barely able to function, certainly feeling unable to host these students. I felt terrible about this but fortunately the wind picked up at the last minute which made it just too difficult to setup the telescope. I sadly canceled the viewing at the last minute but saw no other choice, especially because of the way I was feeling. My loss, everyone’s loss-
Also around this time I found out that I somehow contracted latent TB, care of my fist stay at XXX. Who gets TB?! What a thing to have to deal with now! Fortunately, TB is now curable so I got on a heavy dose of special meds that I had to take daily for four months – done!
To add to things, another difficult issue that came up at this time was a son suddenly dealling with an acute mental crisis which required all our resources to deal with. It is spiritually difficult and sad issue for any family and the timing for us couldn’t have be worse except for the fact that I was fortunate to be at home to deal with it, barely. We got him the treatment he needed and is fortunately doing very well at this time.
To say the end of the year was a difficult time would be an understatement. The weight on my shoulders was overwhelming and desperate. The most fortunate thing out of so much of that period was the very positive re-introduction to my industry thought the consulting work and the fortunate successful resolution to a family healh crises. For this I feel ever so grateful to have had that brief home interlude.
Then came my time to “re-enter”…
Diesel Therapy:
It’s been a hell of a ride since I came back in the system, starting out first in XXXX in XXXX for a few weeks (nightmare) and then transferring to a private prison for another six months (also horrible). Being caught in the system during COVID has generated this increased movement of inmates called “Diesel Therapy”. This Diesel Therapy is comprised of terrible repetitive cycle between institutions (most often of inmates between facilities other than Bureau of Prisons all in the view of segregating people and or quarantining them between locations. Often inmates are moved from one private prison to another and then back to that same private prison again. It’s really an endless cycle in dealing with the ever increasing federal population. Most of this move, again is between these private institutions because the BOP had shut their doors due to COVID in an effort to stop any further out-breaks in them. By the way, I had watched an inmate, near the beginning while I was in XXXX late one night, fall-out (drop to his knees gasping for breath and being attended to by CO’s and then found that he had died the next day (young guy too!). It was terrifying, it was real! (sorry, I know, I need to start using new expletives). This movement is done every time someone or group is moved or if someone in your group is suspected of having COVID.
Added together I’ve probably quarantined, or rather been in “solitary confinement” locked in a cell either alone or with another, a total of 2-3 months now. If I hadn’t won that ‘release bending appeal” I would never had been subjecting to all the “diesel therapy” I’ve experienced, I would have simply remained at XXXX, still worth the postponement of time served and diesel therapy/quarantine).
After leaving the private prison in XXXX I was flown to a USP in XXXX. and held in this castle-like prison (everything but the mote, beautiful to see, horrible to stay in (look it up). I spent two weeks there in an upper dungeon-like section on the third floor with no AC, sticking, sweating with my bunky with only out for a shower every other day during the week only (screw you if your day is a Thursday – don’t wash again till Monday), Man. Fortunately a good bunky, that time. Much demoralizing things…. Main passage-ways are wide, Spanish glaze tiled floors and walls with beautiful detailed archliberal arches with fine detail/gargoyles… Great for a Halloween Haunted House, not much else.
Bus transport outside these private prisons, or really between any institution in the federal system, usually is comprised of getting on a large Greyhound type bus and taken to an airport for travel on what is called “Con-Air” (similar to the movie Con-Air). All of it a practice in ultimate humility. All inmates moving are fully Chain-and-Shackled, wrist and ankles and then a chain around the waist attached to the wrist-cuffs so no nose-picking or scratching your ass (don’t even think about having to shit). You are treated as the convict you are, thoroughly beneath your captors who are the US Marshals – US Ground Marshals and US Air Marshals (for the plane). These are very large men who look amped up on steroids, very scary looking, all looking like they’re waiting for the IRA or Colombian Cartel to come out from the nearest hedge grove or us inmates to somehow through off our shackles and charge. These guys stand around the buses as they pull up on the tarmac or up to the plane. This is where we are all filed out in front of the plane, Body checked again and eventually shuttled about. All so intimidating, all so seemingly overboard. I’ll never book that flight again, nor recommend it!
Interlude:
Something else I need to share. An episode that took place shortly after we left XXXX on our way to XXXX airport. We stopped at this large service station for diesel designed for large rig vehicles. As we sat their waiting for our bus to be fueled, looking our windows…
SPIDERS!!!
Large, bulbous spiders out there, hundreds of them at every pump! All moving, between, above, around. I don’t know if it was the heat or the moisture but they were all Moving around their webs, dropping down from the nest’s in the canopy above, arcing, catching an invisible thread, but moving. I’ve never seen anything like it! And from the look and sounds of my fellow shacklties, either had they. We were all staining and turning ourselves (as best we could) to watch this herd of beasts outside our windows. The only thing that could be worse is if somehow some of them got in! Could you imagine?! I could just see it, this large two inch spider crawling around my shoulder and me shackled, unable to do a thing but squirm and watch. I also couldn’t imagine being out there trying to fill my tank! NO WAY! It was really terrifying. I mean, I love to watch these creatures in a contained jar but these were all OUT there, huge and massing. I can almost hear them breathing! I mean – if that were my station I would, or rather would have paid someone to power wash and fumigate the place! So I’m watching this one right outside my window that appears to float slowing down some invisible thread then catch some other mysterious fiber, and then somehow attaching to our bus, then slowly crawl to the cleft of my window and hunkered down, bracing against the wind as we finally took off and he (because I’m sure it was a he) stayed. Not comfortable with that.
Ok, so I’ve now been HERE two weeks – quarantined – isolated – in lock-down except that hour a day for calls and these emails.
No commissary, not cards, nothing but a few books to choose from… I was told on Thursday that my transport to XXX should be leaving the middle of next week, then the next day (Friday) I was told that XXXX is not even on the list for next week. So, maybe the following week?!
Sleep:
Sleep and dreams aren’t a concern, it’s awakening that terrifies me. As I sleep, when I can which is not often and few between, my dreams are my escape (truly!). They’re usually of great meaning or at least seem to be, of comfortable recognitions and sweet reunions. People I’ve hoped to see, connections re-established – so much meaning. And then the fog of my sleep begins to lift and reality, which seams less real than the dreams begin to filter in, first, disorienting but then the reality of it begins to appear and leaves me desperately trying to crawl back to the sands of sleep, desperately trying to hold off the approaching reality of my present state. That peaceful wakefulness that quickly crashes to reality and confusion of present state. Oh, how did I ever get so far from home?
Looks like I’m out of “character” usage – I’ve written myself out!
Love to all and thanks
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White Collar Support Group Blog: Negative Judgments Can Hurt, or They Can Heal. The Choice is Yours to Make, by Fellow Traveler Craig Stanland
Craig Stanland is a member of our White Collar Support Group that meets online on Zoom on Monday evenings.
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I’m honored to be a member of a White Collar Support Group lead by my dear friend, Jeff Grant.
We meet every Monday, and the topics vary; however, a few issues rise above the rest.
One of those issues is Judgments, particularly as it relates to our family and friends trying to reconcile our choices and actions.
This article was written with the group in mind, however it’s lessons apply to everyone.
The author Cheri Huber stated the following in her wonderful book, “There Is Nothing Wrong With You,”
“When you judge someone else it’s simply self-hate projected outward.”
When I look at my own judgments of others, she’s right.
However, there is another component of negative judgments I’d like to add to this and explore.
I believe we judge people/circumstances/situations negatively when we don’t understand them. When the person/circumstance/situation doesn’t fit into one of the many boxes we have in our minds.
We, as humans, love to put things in boxes. We love to label things.
We do this because if something doesn’t fit into a box, then it’s unknown. And anything unknown, according to the oldest parts of our brains, is scary.
Anything scary is a direct threat to our survival, and our brain’s primary function is to keep us alive.
So we have to label it, and because it’s scary, it’s inherently “bad.”
Hence, negative judgments.
Now, all of a sudden, this scary, bad, unknown thing has a label, it’s no longer unknown, and we’ve taken a step towards keeping ourselves alive.
We have the illusion of control.
Why do I say illusion? Because we don’t really have control over anything, only our response to any given situation.
We, as members of the white-collar justice impacted community, are in the minority.
I read this online; please fact check me if I’m wrong,
“White-collar crime makes up just over 3% of overall federal prosecutions yearly.”
Three percent is not a lot. It’s barely a blip on the radar. And this is important because it ties to what I’ve been discussing.
To our family and friends, what we’ve done, and what we are currently experiencing or have experienced is unknown.
It’s scary.
I think we’d all like to believe we have the capacity for compassion, and for the most part, we do.
However, compassion becomes a challenge when we face something we don’t understand, and we feel fear (even if it’s fear for the person we love).
Fear clouds our thinking.
It becomes easier to seek control in the form of negative judgments so we can feel better about a situation.
Now, obviously, I can’t speak for every person on the planet, but I know I’m guilty of this.
And I bet if you’re honest with yourself about negative judgments you’ve made in the past, you’ll find you’ve done it as well.
Equipped with this awareness, we can change our perceptions of those who judge us negatively.
We can see that they are either:
Experiencing an inner turmoil that’s eating them up inside, and they need to project that self-hate elsewhere.
Or
They’re afraid.
Even equipped with this perspective, it will most likely sting when someone judges us; we’re human beings having a human experience, after all.
But, if we’re able to bring awareness into the situation and understand where their negative judgments are coming from, we can do something that sounds counterintuitive to every reaction we want to have:
We can feel compassion and empathy for them. Because they either hate something about themselves or they’re scared.
This may sound ludicrous,
“Someone calls me a “fraudster,” a “crook,” a “liar” and I’m going to feel empathy towards them?”
I’d argue yes, and here’s why:
Viktor Frankl said it best,
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Here is something essential to note:
We have the right to be angry at negative judgments; we have the right to be hurt.
As long as we are choosing these responses and not reacting with these responses. And, when the moment passes, we make a critical choice:
Will we choose to stay angry and hurt? Or will we choose compassion and empathy?
When we choose compassion and empathy, we seize something that may seem foreign for many of us:
Agency
The moment we have agency in our lives, we change the narrative, we open a new chapter.
When we live with agency, we give ourselves one of the greatest gifts we can wish for in our situation:
The ability to reinvent our lives into whatever we are meant to do.
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My new book, “Blank Canvas, How I Reinvented My Life After Prison” is now available on Amazon.
I wrote this book from my heart, and I gave it everything I had.
My dream, my goal for this book is that it helps one person—the one person who feels right now how I once felt.
I’d be honored if you checked it out.
Business Insider: How a Lawyer Who Went to Prison for 9/11-related Fraud got his Law License Back and Became an Ordained Minister Along the Way, by Peter Coutu, July 27, 2021
By Peter Coutu. Reprinted from BusinessInsider.com, July 27, 2021
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After nearly two decades without practicing, Jeff Grant got his law license back this May.
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He served over a year in prison for lying about office space to get federal relief money after 9/11.
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He then went to seminary and opened a ministry serving white-collar defendants.
Jeff Grant started his law career the way many young lawyers would dream of starting. He launched his own firm shortly after graduating from New York Law School in 1981 and grew it, first in Manhattan and then in Westchester County, adding employees and clients. He served as outside general counsel to two large real-estate companies and kept adding staff.
But then the cracks appeared.
After rupturing his Achilles tendon in a basketball game in 1992, he was prescribed opioids for pain relief. He said he quickly became addicted and continued to take them daily for the next decade.
He made a habit of borrowing money from his clients’ escrow accounts to cover payroll, which he was in danger of not paying because of his personal spending habits and inattention to the business.
And after the attacks on September 11, 2001, he lied about his office location on an application for a low-interest Small Business Administration loan. He wrote that he had a satellite office just a few blocks from ground zero, but he had only an agreement with another firm in that building to use a conference room, which he had never used. He received a $247,000 loan and used it to cover personal credit cards, which he said were used to keep his firm afloat, and other personal expenses.
A New York attorney grievance committee launched an ethics investigation into his misuse of client funds, while federal prosecutors initiated a criminal inquiry over the loan.
Grant was disbarred in December 2002, five months after surrendering his legal license. He pleaded guilty to one count each of wire fraud and money laundering and was sentenced to 18 months in prison in 2006. In the interim, he went to rehab, and he said he has stayed sober since.
On the road to recovery
He served nearly 14 months in a low-security prison, where he attended services for a range of religions: Catholicism, Protestantism, and Islam. After he was released in 2007, Grant spent a couple of years volunteering. Then a friend recommended he attend seminary. Grant was hesitant.
“I was a Jewish kid from Long Island,” he said. “I didn’t even know what it was.”
But he enrolled in Union Theological Seminary in the City of New York, earning his master of divinity in 2012. He accepted a position as an associate minister later that year in Bridgeport, Connecticut, and later became an ordained minister in an Independent Catholic church (not affiliated with Roman Catholic). He said he was also baptized as a Protestant and still identifies with Catholicism, Protestantism, and Judaism.
In 2013, he and his wife founded Progressive Prison Ministries in Greenwich, Connecticut. He says it’s the world’s first ministry helping people prosecuted for white-collar crimes. His work came to include mentoring, career counseling, and spiritual support.
But something was missing, he said.
He said that while he loved doing “the good work,” it could get frustrating. The people Grant ministered to always had legal questions, he said, but he was barred from giving legal advice.
In 2018, he decided to try to get his law license back.
‘Light at the end of this crazy tunnel’
Grant submitted a motion for reinstatement to the New York State Bar at the beginning of 2019 that included a tell-all, 10,000-word narrative of how he’d unraveled his life and then worked to put it back together.
The committee on character and fitness investigated him — lawyers need to show remorse and prove that they’ve changed and are trustworthy and honest in order to be reinstated — and recommended his approval in October 2020. But a state court still needed to officially OK it.
Every day for the next several months, Grant checked to see if his name appeared on the court’s docket.
Then, on May 5, Grant saw it: He was a lawyer again, effective immediately.
He hasn’t struggled to find work since, he said.
Grant says he’s one of the very few practicing attorneys who have been prosecuted and incarcerated for white-collar crimes. His clients seek him out because of his past, he said.
“It brings hope and comfort that there actually might be light at the end of this crazy tunnel,” he said.
Some of his old clients even gave him a shout when he shared the news that he had his license back, asking for him to represent them once again.
Four decades after graduating from law school, Grant says he feels content.
“This might be the first time in my life where I feel like I’ve arrived at where God needs me to be,” he said.
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Now again in private practice, Jeff is an attorney and counselor-at-law providing private general counsel, legal crisis management, and dispute strategy and management services to individuals and families, real estate organizations, family-owned and closely-held businesses, the white collar justice community, and special situation and pro bono clients.
For over 20 years Jeff served as managing attorney of a 20+ employee law firm headquartered in New York City, and then Westchester County, NY. Among other practice areas, the firm engaged in representation of family-owned/closely held businesses and their owners, business and real estate transactions, trusts and estates, and litigation. Jeff also served as outside General Counsel to large family-owned real estate equities, management and brokerage organizations, in which role he retained, coordinated and oversaw the work of many specialty law firms, including white collar defense firms.
Jeff Grant’s full bio: https://prisonist.org/about-jeff-grant/
Progressive Prison Ministries website: https://prisonist.org
Linked In: https://linkedin.com/revjeffgrant
Podcast: Jeff Grant on The Confessional with Nadia Bolz-Weber, Bonus Content, July 22, 2021
The Confessional with Nadia Bolz-Weber
“Ugly confessions from beautiful people… It’s like a car wash for our shame and secrets.”– Nadia Bolz-Weber
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Huge thanks to Nadia Bolz-Weber for having me on her podcast, The Confessional. The original podcast dropped on May 5, 2021, link to article and podcast here. On July 22, 2021, Nadia posted never-before-heard bonus content, see below – Jeff
Link to the podcast bonus content on The Confessional with Nadia Bolz-Weber on Substack here.
Show Notes:
Co-Founder of Progressive Prison Ministries
“I was dressed up looking the part, but deep inside, I was just vacant. I just was not someone I was proud of anymore.” – Jeff Grant
Jeff Grant, J.D., M.Div. is Co-Founder of Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc., the world’s first ministry serving the white collar justice community. Jeff co-hosts with Babz Rawls Ivy the Criminal Justice Insider podcast and hosts the White Collar Week podcast. He also leads a weekly online confidential White Collar Support Group.
Prisonist.org
Twitter: @RevJeffGrant
SUBSCRIBE to The Corners, my on-line publication and newsletter.
CONNECT with other spiritual misfits in a pop-up Chapel for conversation, daily prayer, and exclusive content in The Chapel.
LISTEN to my podcast, The Confessional, it’s like a carwash for shame and secrets.
READ my NYT bestselling memoirs: Pastrix; The Cranky, Beautiful Faith Of A Sinner & Saint (Re-released 2021), Accidental Saints; Finding God In All The Wrong People(2015) and SHAMELESS; A Sexual Reformation (2019).
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“God, please help me not be an asshole, is about as common a prayer as I pray in my life.”— Nadia Bolz-Weber
She writes and speaks about personal failings, recovery, grace, faith, and really whatever the hell else she wants to. She always sits in the corner with the other weirdoes.
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Podcast: Jeff Grant on The Great Women of Fraud Podcast with Kelly Paxton, July 6, 2021
Today we have a Great Dude in Fraud. Jeff Grant is a true story of an unexpected life. From being a lawyer to going to prison for SBA fraud related to 9/11 and now getting back his law license. I think you will find this episode fascinating on many levels. Jeff’s podcast, White Collar Week, and his support group has become such a community for people that never thought this could happen to them. Please take a listen and let me know your thoughts. As Jeff says,” It’s the isolation that destroys us. The solution is in community.” Spot on. – Kelly Paxton
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Kelly Paxton is one of my very favorite people, a shining light in the often dark world of fraud investigations. I was thrilled when she asked me to be the guest on her podcast, Great Women of Fraud – link to podcast here. We go deep into the relationship between criminal defense attorneys and experts, and how to present a client’s best case to prosecutors. Get out a pen and a pad folks, you’re going to want to take notes.- Jeff
Kelly and fellow investigator & friend Brian Willingham were recent guests on our White Collar Week Podcast, link here.
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Great Women in Fraud is a podcast to help those working in fraud. Hosted by Kelly Paxton, Certified Fraud Examiner, Private Investigator, and Pink Collar Crime Expert. Kelly is a former special agent turned investigator specializing in embezzlement and workplace dishonesty cases. Great Women in Fraud interviews outstanding fraud professionals so you can continue to move forward in your career. Origin stories, tips, resources are just some of the amazing fraud content you will hear each Tuesday. Be sure to check out www.greatwomeninfraud.com for even more information.
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Listen on Spotify:
Listen on Apple Podcasts:
Jeffrey D. Grant, Esq.
GrantLaw, PLLC, 43 West 43rd Street, Suite 108, New York, NY 10036-7424
(212) 859-3512, [email protected], GrantLaw.com
After an addiction to prescription opioids and serving almost fourteen months in a Federal prison (2006 – 07) for a white-collar crime he committed in 2001 when he was a lawyer, Jeff started his own reentry – earning a Master of Divinity from Union Theological Seminary in the City of New York, majoring in Social Ethics. After graduating from divinity school, Jeff was called to serve at an inner city church in Bridgeport, CT as Associate Minister and Director of Prison Ministries. He then co-founded Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc. (Greenwich, CT), the world’s first ministry serving the white collar justice community.
On May 5, 2021, Jeff’s law license was reinstated by the Appellate Division of the Supreme Court of the State of New York.
Now again in private practice, Jeff is an attorney and counselor-at-law providing private general counsel, legal crisis management, and dispute strategy and management services to individuals and families, real estate organizations, family-owned and closely-held businesses, the white collar justice community, and special situation and pro bono clients.
For over 20 years Jeff served as managing attorney of a 20+ employee law firm headquartered in New York City, and then Westchester County, NY. Among other practice areas, the firm engaged in representation of family-owned/closely held businesses and their owners, business and real estate transactions, trusts and estates, and litigation. Jeff also served as outside General Counsel to large family-owned real estate equities, management and brokerage organizations, in which role he retained, coordinated and oversaw the work of many specialty law firms, including white collar defense firms.
Jeff Grant’s full bio: https://prisonist.org/about-jeff-grant/
Progressive Prison Ministries website: https://prisonist.org
Linked In: https://linkedin.com/revjeffgrant
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Kelly A. Paxton, Certified Fraud Examiner
Licensed Private Investigator, Social Media Intelligence Analyst
K Paxton LLC, Principal
Kelly Paxton has more than 20 years of investigative experience. Kelly is a Certified Fraud Examiner, Private Investigator, author, and podcast host-founder of Great Women in Fraud.
Ms. Paxton started her career in law enforcement as a Special Agent for US Customs Office of Investigations in 1993. Ms. Paxton was recruited by US Customs for her expertise in finance. She worked white collar fraud, money laundering and narcotics cases. She also was responsible for the district’s undercover operations and financial reporting of these operations. Kelly worked as a contract investigator doing over 1000 security background investigations for the Office of Personnel Management and Department of Homeland Security.
Kelly has worked in the public and private sector. Most recently she worked as an investigator for Nike. Her investigations include embezzlement, conflict of interest, intellectual property, Open Source Intelligence and fraud. Kelly is also the proud owner of pinkcollarcrime.com, a passion of hers about embezzlers in the workplace. She founded Great Women in Fraud in August, 2020. Her book, Embezzlement How to Prevent, Detect and Investigate Pink-Collar Crime, was published in December, 2020.
Contact Information:
(503) 521-6167, [email protected], kellypaxton.com, pinkcollarcrime.com
White Collar Support Group Blog: Before You Can Let Go of The Past, You Must Accept The Past, by Fellow Traveler Craig Stanland
Congratulations to our friend Craig Stanland on the publishing of his first book, “Blank Canvas: How I Reinvented My Life After Prison“! Craig is a powerful example of how to come back from the depths of professional and personal destruction and despair, survive and evolve in prison, and become a better, more fulfilled person living the life God intends for him. These lessons are universal – I’ve read a review copy of Craig’s book and I highly recommend it for anyone navigating life’s difficulties. I guess that means everybody! Five stars! – Jeff
Craig is a member of our online White Collar Support Group that meets on Zoom on Monday evenings.
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Acceptance is freedom; acceptance is the key to moving forward.
Acceptance was critical to rebuilding and reinventing my life after losing everything.
I wrote about acceptance in my new book, “Blank Canvas, How I Reinvented My Life After Prison”; I’ve shared an excerpt below and would be ever so grateful if you checked it out.
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TWENTY-THREE
“God grant us the serenity to accept the things we
cannot change, the courage to change the things we
can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
— REINHOLD NIEBUHR
I spend half of my time wishing I wasn’t in prison,
the other half wishing I had made a different choice. I fantasize about going back in time to the day I discovered the loophole I exploited. I see myself at the dining room table, staring at my laptop. A black-and-white composition notebook to my right, the pages filled with notes, yellow Post-its stuck everywhere. I look like John Nash in A Beautiful Mind.
The puzzle pieces were coming together. I had discovered a treasure map that only I knew about. I feel the excitement I felt, the pure rush of it all. My performance at work was not what it used to be; my paychecks were shrinking. My need to buy more things, to fill the hole inside, was growing. This was a lousy equation but I had solved it.
I wish I could travel back to that moment, to speak louder than the rush and say, “Stop. Don’t do this. You have everything you need. This is not the way.”
I would have made a different choice. The first domino would have never fallen, the criminal complaint never filed, the investigation never initiated. The FBI wouldn’t have aimed fifteen guns at Kyla. I wouldn’t have hurt the people I love. I wouldn’t have to strip naked, lift my balls, spread my cheeks, and cough.
I’d be free. The short film of my suicide would have never been produced.
The voice was there and I knew it. I chose to ignore it. In those moments of clarity, when I calculated the damage done, my heart tightened. I felt like I was always on the verge of a heart attack. I tried to erase the pain with lies, and it usually worked — at least for a little bit.
I wish I had listened to that voice. But I didn’t. Now I’m sitting in a prison library trying to start over. I will never have the freedom to paint whatever I want if I continue to fight what can’t be changed. I must do what I am afraid to do.
I have to practice acceptance.
I don’t want to. It feels like giving up, passive. Fighting equals progress. But does it? What am I fighting against? As much as I wish it existed, there’s no such thing as a DeLorean time machine.
I’ve locked myself in a past that can’t be changed, in an existence that fills me with shame and regret. Fighting isn’t progress; it’s running away from the truth.
I was wrong: Acceptance isn’t giving up, and it isn’t passive.
It is an act of courage to say,
“I accept that I betrayed myself and chose to commit a crime.” I hit the Enter button, the single keystroke that started it all. “I accept I made the choice to continue in the face of the universe screaming at me to stop. I accept that I’m in prison. I accept that I hurt the woman I love, my family, my friends. My finances are in ruin; I’m getting divorced. I’ll have a criminal record until I die. I accept that I don’t trust myself. I accept that I’m scared.”
Holy crap, that felt good. I don’t feel as trapped. I feel something extraordinary. I’m in prison but I just gave myself freedom. No one else, nothing external, I did this.
A thought pops into my head: This is my life now. What am I going to do with what is left of it?
***
“Blank Canvas, How I Reinvented My Life After Prison” is now available on Amazon.
I wrote this book from my heart, and I gave it everything I had.
My dream, my goal for this book is that it helps one person.
I’d be honored if you checked it out.
Podcast: Jeff Grant on The Bobby Jagdev Podcast in the U.K., “Drifting Between Liminal Communities” July 1, 2021
This episode is a must-listen if you, a friend, family member, colleague or client are going through criminal justice issues, or any life altering situation. Our discussion centered on identifying with and comparing the experiences of the white collar justice community to Bobby’s family of Sikh heritage. Bobby’s family migrated to England and found themselves strangers in a strange land, refugees living in liminalty between their old world and the new, between traditional and contemporary values, navigating prejudice and distrust.
Similarly, people prosecuted for white collar crimes and their families often find themselves stigmatized by their former friends and families, and the business community – people without a country, mourning the past and afraid of the future, struggling to find acceptance of the reality of their new and very difficult situations. It’s the isolation that destroys us. The solution is in community. Link to podcast on Bobby Jagdev’s website: go.bobbyjagdev.com/ep17. – Jeff
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Meet Rev. Jeff Grant. Once a drifter. Now a traveler.
One who through suffering, pain and wreckage discovered a community. Hiding in the shadows. Under the abject shame of rejection. A community providing acceptance and belonging to fellow travelers.
Rev. Jeff is an ordained minister serving the white-collar justice community. His position holds a special reverence. His divinity – granted by the seminary – and protected by the state. Enables him to provide confidential counsel to those in need of crisis support. A crucial nexus for travellers that have just entered a liminal state.
Jeff’s own story is a rise, fall and rebirth of biblical proportions.
Once a big-time real-estate lawyer. Owner of his own firm and a restaurateur. His meritocratic rise was buckled by an addiction to prescription opioids.
An addiction that prompted poor judgement. As his firms’ cash-flow faltered and personal debts mounted. Ethical boundaries became blurred. Disbarred for re-appropriating client funds. And eventually jailed for fraudulently claiming 9/11 disaster relief funding.
The richness of his big-baller lifestyle soon disappeared. And through the ashes of devastation, a richness of spirit emerged…
I met Jeff through a mutual friend and old friend of the podcast; Craig Stanland. Craig was in fact one of the first travellers to have sought Jeff’s counsel.
This is a conversation that drifts between two disparate liminal communities. The white-collar justice community and subjects of a diaspora.
You may wonder, how do you draw a commonality between these two very distinct groups? The root cause of shifting liminal states is largely incomparable. However, acceptance, belonging and accountability are all very relatable.
Whilst Jeff share’s his experiences within the white-collar justice community. I share my experiences of being a child of the Empire. And how our coerced liminal experiences impacted us, shaped our value systems and carved out routes of accountability.
This conversation took place on Easter Monday. Receiving blessings from an ordained Christian minister – regardless of my religious affiliation – was a real gift.
Jeff is warmly spoken. His charisma is alluring. And his presences creates a safe space to express our inner spirit. That is Jeff’s gift.
A gift he doesn’t exercise through preaching. But by shepherding those seeking his counsel with the empowerment to realize this gift for themselves.
A few weeks following the recording of this episode. The Supreme Court of the State New York reinstated Jeff’s license to practice law. Travelers seeking his counsel are now able to be served in greater ways.
Blessed to welcome the first master of divinity and now practicing attorney as a new friend of the podcast. – Bobby Jagdev
White Collar Support Group Blog: The Perfection Syndrome, by Fellow Traveler Basia Skudrzyk
Basia Skudrzyk is a member of our online White Collar Support Group that meets on Zoom on Monday evenings.
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When a reporter asked Thomas Edison, “How did it feel to fail 10,000 times? Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 10,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 10,000 steps.”
Great success is built on failure, frustration and even catastrophe.
Although we strive for perfection, no one ever gets there. Perfection is subjective and each person has his or her own view as to what constitutes perfection.
Perfectionism has been considered a form of OCD. There are those who have an overwhelming fever of making mistakes; an intense need for things to be perfect or done right. Perfectionists seem to analyze and analyze before making a decision. The reality of life is that nothing is ever perfect. The need to over analyze is what causes paralysis or even worse, the self-fulling prophecy which can often lead to chaos and failure in a person’s life.
Here is a news flash. There is no such thing as perfection. The most that anyone can do is the best they can under the circumstances with what they know. You make more mistakes when you take a long time to decide on a matter than if you were to decide quickly and swiftly. Do not confuse this last statement to mean that you make decisions from the hip without proper analysis. Moving quickly does not imply a lack of preparation. A surgeon does not operate without x-rays or tests, but when an emergency occurs she must be able to operate within a matter of hours.
Take everything into consideration, analyze and then decide. Rudy Rodolfo has learned from his work life experience as a trial attorney that things can go from bad to worse during a trial. Decisions have to be made at the drop of a hat because there is no time. You are in the middle of the trial with 12 jurors sitting there looking at you. Same goes for your personal life. Sometimes we have to act quick based on the resources and capabilities we have in front of us.
Trying to be perfect can also lead to negative thoughts and a lack of action. How often have you heard the expression?: “If it is not perfect, I am not going to do it.”
People who expect perfection are afraid of failure. It can be a devastating fear. People who are successful have failed one or more times in their lives. A classic example is Abraham Lincoln who is considered by many as one of the greatest American Presidents. He is remembered for what he did as President of the United States and not for the failures he suffered before. Lincoln’s life was far from perfect, but despite that he achieved incredible success.
1832: Lost his job and was defeated for state legislator
1833: Failed in Business
1835: Sweetheart died
1836: Had a nervous breakdown
1838: Defeated for speaker of the Illinois state legislature
1843: Defeated for nomination for Congress
1848: Did not get renominated
1849: Rejected for land officer
1856: Defeated for nomination for Vice President
1858: Again defeated for U.S. Senate
1860: Elected President of the United States
When you reach your goal, no matter what it is, others will focus on your success and not on the failures that occurred before.
Carefully observe oneself and one’s situation. Carefully observe others, and carefully observe one’s environment. Consider fully. Act decisively. — Jigoro Kano, Founder of Judo
THE JUDO AFFECT
Toughness is often confused with being mean, aggressive, and physically strong. Nothing is farther from the truth. It is often the strong and aggressive who fail. You are probably wondering what does this have to do with Judo. The definition of Judo is “the gentle way.”
It is hard to believe when you see two Judo fighters in a tournament that there is nothing gentle about it. You throw someone to the ground as hard as you can or you can defeat the opponent with chokes or arm bars. The premise behind Judo is that you use your opponents force against him. What if someone is charging at you? You can either crash into him head on or you can step aside and deflect. Rather than using all of your force against him, you can bring him to you more and use his energy against him. These are lessons Rudy Rodolfo has learned from a lifetime of competitive Judo.
First, you need the mental discipline to control your emotions and control your movements. Judo fighters practice and practice before they can properly execute a throw while sparing. Practice and preparation always makes you stronger. When you confront a personal crisis it is important to be as calm as you can be before reacting. Play out sceneries in your mind. Verbalize your response ahead of time. It is only after that when you react. Deflect the anger and negative energy of others, but control your anger when you do. As strong as the pine tree is, it can be broken by the strong winds of a hurricane. However, a willow tree that bends with the wind will not break.
Jigoro Kano espoused a well known principle. In an argument, you may silence your opponent by pressing an advantage of strength, wealth, or education; but you cannot really convince him. Though he is no longer saying anything, in his heart he still keeps to his opinion. The only way to make him change is to speak quietly and reasonably. When he understands that you are not trying to defeat him, but only to find the truth, he will listen to you and perhaps accept what you tell him.
Life and Judo have a lot in common. You can be gentle, yet disciplined, and still be mentally tough.
Read the balance of Basia’s article on Medium.com, link here.
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This article was inspired by Judo Master and Chief International Litigation Expert, Rodolfo (Rudy) Rivera, a well-decorated Chief International Counsel for a Fortune 500 Company for the past 15 years; as well as a Board Member of the Association of Corporate Counsel. He sits on the Board of Communities in Schools in Jacksonville, Florida. CIS provides after school programs for kids who are under-served in the community and with a high drop out rate. They seek to increase high school graduation rates and provide a platform for successful educational pathways. Rudy is a frequent guest speaker and lecturer on managing litigation, litigating in multicultural jurisdictions, and managing outside counsel.
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